Friday, October 29, 2010
That's what i have to do.... keep breathing.
Today i feel like i got the shit kicked out of me. I have no fight today.
I keep on replaying yesterday over and over. Thinking of why it went wrong, and today i have to deal with the aftermath... my eyes hurt from rubbing them so much, my skin around my eyes is irritated and red, I've been ignoring and avoiding everyone so they wont see my face, not to mention the emotional aspect. I feel lost, I'm confused, disappointed, I'm so hurt. All of this for love.
Is it worth it? To me it is. Is it worth it to him? Am i? I don't know..... . Or was this all just wasted love?
So i ask you.... What is it? Am i wrong to think that its unselfishness, that its sacrifice? Its not rocket science. Its not hard. You do what you need to do. If that person is enough, if they're worth it.... why not? You give everything for love. That's the cost. Of course they have to be worth it, but when they are wouldn't you do anything? All it is is selfless love. You know, in a way i feel let down, i thought he was smarter, i thought he knew what it all meant. Now, i don't know..... one thing that i remember is someone telling me that it takes a man to be a man..... I'm at the end of my rope.... I have nothing else to do but fall from here...
I feel angry I'm even in this situation. Last night i just kept thinking it was a dream, and when i was dreaming it was just the same. Its a never ending situation.