Monday, January 30, 2012

The Crazyness

keetra-dean-dixon-art-with-a-meaningful-messa ge-2

I'm really sorry for not posting for a while. Recently I became ill and I'm trying to get better. Its not easy handling everything at once. I'm the type of person that holds everything in : anger, sadness, stress. Pretty much everything except happiness. I'm a ticking time bomb. I know its not the healthiest way to do things, but it is who I am. I'm always trying to keep it together, and make it seem like it even though its not. That's usually how I am until something pushes me to the edge and breakdown.

Right now I have so many things stuck in my mind. How to say in California, how our new future would look like in Texas,.... Should I quit the job I love to make more money and work at a job that I'm completely miserable? Too many important decisions. Too many outcomes. Its driving me crazy and that is all I can think about in the last couple of weeks. Those thoughts are already on top of me being really sick. I'm going through headaches and migraines almost everyday. It sucks balls.

What do I do? Should I be selfish and be happy or be an adult, take responsibility, suck it up and be miserable?

Man, I wish I could be a baby again and sleep and play all day.

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